Nonlinear Autobiography

January 18, 2018 Thursday: Began as a personal statement for a Production Management Internship application, swirled into an off-topic yet magical autobiography that seems to reach no end—as long as I am living.

At age 9, I fixed my eyes on one path that I would persist with my remaining time on earth: the media industry—a platform expressing art through films and music to which the rising mass generation attach their feelings, values, and perspectives. My destinations are nonterminating, but my purpose is constant: to be a part of the influence that brainwashes teens and young adults—hopefully for the better. Indeed, a wide path with unlike all-rewarding opportunities, I am 21 years old and still eager to explore more before I deep dive into one specialization.

Growing up more observant than communicative, I have always perceived this universe just a little bit off than my peers and elders have. I would collect and compile my thoughts and feelings into lyrical and instrumental songs—at that point, I did not know “songwriting” was the term. At age 9, life shattered when I moved away from home, Taiwan, to America. Faced with grief over the loss of established friendships and security and fear of invading a culture not my own, I battled with the wildest thoughts and ever-tangled feelings that turned into the drive for the 200 songs that I would later compose within two years. I washed dishes for $5 a week for a year and invested in my first acoustic guitar and Tascam Portastudio 4-track recorder. Everything was self-taught—then and now—how to play guitar, how to sing, how to record a song, how to master a song without pressing the wrong button and losing the entire file…and so on.

Freshman year in high school, I set myself a quantitative goal with my birthday being the deadline: produce 55 original songs in less than 6 months. The birthday gift was given and so was the determination and love to continue producing. Sophomore year hit and a new resolution arose: I wanted to break out of my shyness by performing in front of people in spite of my immature industry-standards. Throughout the next two years, my guitar and I stepped on over 75 stages for all kinds of occasions. By the end of junior year, stresses added up with the increase of SAT’s, AP courses, preparatory college applications, and 3 part-time jobs. In all honesty, I was no superwoman and I was drowning in waves of exhaustion.

Halfway through senior year, my church established its first branch in South Bay. Without many thoughts and feelings, I migrated to this branch with my parents. My integration into the young adult fellowship was subconscious yet deeply fulfilling that throughout my next two years at De Anza College, I allowed my music pursuit to slide down the priority list. A church progressing in establishment is a twin sister to a technology start-up company striving to root in the Silicon Valley. Let alone in recruiting, loyal and dedicated employees are few—loyal and dedicated and humble employees are gold. People come and go and, after months of training, someone may and does easily take off over a single microscopic conflict. Taking into account my observations at church and resignation to God, I “interned full-time” before I transferred out of the area.

Sipping out a typical week from the two-year spectrum, my days were filled (outside of my studies) with WeChatting new comers to make them feel welcomed and cared for, truly befriending some and taking accountability for their life matters, preparing and, practicing songs for worship on Sunday and Friday night small group, preparing for small group discussions and ice breakers, volleying on 280 & 85 highways back and forth to pick up and drop off carless fellowship members, planning and promoting social events that you would almost have to beg for those busy Bay Area Engineers to sacrifice a weekend afternoon for relationship building, and calling and praying with single ladies whose heart was broken by the realization that their admired brother was already taken…etc. By the end of my internship, I felt grateful and satisfied that I voluntarily handed a portion of my youth before God in exchange of eternal influence. Upon my transfer to San Jose State University, I was off duty and faced with an exciting yet unscripted future.

Moved out of home to be an “independent” young adult who was still taking $1000 a month from Mom & Dad and only 20 minutes away from home (LOL), I finally understood what responsibilities underly. First month into my independence, I realized cash was running low, so I refreshed my email inbox to see if there were replies to my job applications. Funny thing was, before I moved out, I applied for an internship at a Downtown San Jose film production company, two blocks from campus. My hope was to reenroll myself in the media industry before I was too far behind. When I applied, I clearly heard God’s voice, “Only apply to this company and nowhere else.” Obeyed with the excitement to witness God’s faithfulness, there I was, lying on my bed in my pajamas, staring into the screen for nothing. Long story short, I got the promised internship with a pay above my expectations, and picked up skills and insights in film production, post-editing, and trained as a high-productivity administrative assistant also overseeing the accounting department.

Due to lack of business, work volume was reduced by 90%, directly proportional to my income. My loyalty to the company lasted for about 5 months before I moved on for personal good. Personal life was an interesting roller coaster, but professional life was a destitute desert, until September 2017.

Driven by the lack of cash and professional experience and the desire for more, I applied and interviewed at technology companies, consulting firms, tutoring centers, and boba shops back to back. Some were rejections, some were debating, and others were dead bodies in the ocean. At the end of the day, I lost my self-confidence (though it was not much to begin with), my desire, and my direction. But human potentials are like springs: the lower you are pressed down, the higher you will bounce up. And the pressing stopped when Han Jin, CEO of Lucid VR, interviewed me at an empty boba place.

If the interview were an SAT exam, I would end up university-less. But by the merciful freebie of God and Han, I was invited to visit the office on site in the middle of a regular school day. Down to skip the rest of my classes, I went home, showered, dressed up, and arrived at the tech-looking, newly-constructed lobby, nervous. I would one day dedicate another article (if not longer) to my life at Lucid VR. But long story again cut short, the experiences I have gained ripped opened my horizons, challenged my analytical and creative thought processes, strengthened my beliefs and values, and re-baptized my identity.

No wonder so many jobs require a minimum years of experience regardless of academic achievements or personal character, because it is through experience that one refines and matures. Without experience, there is no meaning to your career trajectory, or life. If Will Smith was already good at acting in Bel-Air, why wasn’t he the Legend at that age and point in life? My hypothesis is: without the years of experiences between the two fictional characters, Will Smith wouldn’t have been able to create life out of them. And it's no different for us, playing the role of --but for real.

To be continued…